Yesterday was an unbelievably rough day. I had my rheumatologist appointment. For some reason, whenever I go to that office, I walk out feeling down and depressed. It seems like everyone in there sits and complains about their condition. Many people will groan out loud, and will share their sob stories in the waiting room.
But my doctor has decided not to treat my Lupus as of right now. I can't help but feel like he's not planning on treating it until I am lying in a hospital bed with failed kidney's. I'd much rather start taking medication now, than to wait until it's too late to live a normal life. I don't feel like my doctor listens to me, nor really cares about me as a human being...let alone one of his patients.
Needless to say, I decided yesterday to fire my rheumatologist and hire another one. So I spent the better part of the day trying to get his office to fax over my records. I've BEEN trying to get them to fax over my records for the last 3 weeks. My appointment yesterday was the last straw.
I'm afraid that I lost what sanity I was clinging onto. I have a lot of apologies to make today, some to friends and some to my poor roommates who watched me stomp in and out of the house yesterday like some crazed women.
But I've learned that a good support system is what gets people through hard times.
I'm also tossing around the idea of going on a gluten-free diet again. It helped the joint pain tremendously, I'm just not sure if I have the will power to do it successfully. Thinking of a world without Oreo's, brownies, and bread makes me feel slightly depressed. But the benefits of living in such a world--waking up in little to no pain, being able to stand up without grimacing, being able to sleep all night long without being woken up due to pain sounds amazingly wonderful.
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