Saying Good-bye

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about life, love, and happiness. Our life is filled with good-byes. Some are permanent, and some are only temporary. Saying good-bye is always hard. Saying good-bye is extremely difficult when it is to someone or something that you have relied on, been comforted from, and enjoyed company with. But sometimes it's necessary.

In order to survive, it is necessary. Sometimes to determine how much you rely on them or how much you find comfort from them, it is necessary to walk away for awhile. Sometimes it makes you stronger. Sometimes it makes you realize that you simply cannot be happy without that person/thing in your life. That they are the one who makes you smile in the morning.

When I first was told I was allergic to cheese I threw a fit. I was sooo mad at the world, and especially at the doctor who diagnosed me with the allergy. I literally stomped my way out of the doctor's office telling anyone who would listen to me the doctor was a quack and didn't know what he was talking about.

But saying good-bye to cheese has turned out to be one of the best things that could have happened to me. Cheese made me a weaker person. It made me live a life of misery. Sure, it was fun to eat. But the consequences of eating it simply were not worth it. The consequences out-weighed the benefits.

Saying good-bye to cheese made me stronger. It made me realize I can survive temptation. I can live without the "niceties" of life. That I don't need to have fancy things in my life or in my diet in order to live happily.

Another time I said good-bye was when I first went off to college. Saying good-bye to my parents, to the people who had been my foundational support for all of my life, was extremely difficult. Watching them drive away, leaving me surrounded by people I did not know, was hard. I cried for a good 30 minutes after they left. Then I realized that while I no longer had my parent's at my side, they were only one phone call away. Saying good-bye to them made me realize that they are my foundation. They are my parents. They aren't going to suddenly disappear into thin air, but they will always be there for me. No matter where I am physically, they are only one phone call away.

I learned that they love me unconditionally. That they love me for who I am, through every lazy day, through every fight, and through every trial. They let me make my own mistakes because they know that is how I learn best. They let me run the race, and then greet me with a hug at the finish line. They cheer me on. And it took me saying good-bye to realize how much they mean to me.

When I got so sick, I had to say good-bye to running. I didn't realize how balanced I feel when I am able to run until I said adios. When I run, I am myself. I don't feel like I have to please others with my thoughts and actions, but I let my mind wander to wherever it pleases. I work through my problems and through my thoughts. I think of solutions to seemingly impossible obstacles while I run.

I know that running is good for me physically, but it's also good for me emotionally. It makes me balanced. It makes me stronger. It makes me face reality, and helps me focus on my problems to find the best solution possible.

I've been doing a lot of running lately, mainly because I've been doing a lot of thinking. I've been thinking about how our world is filled with good-byes; whether it be to speeding, junk food, to your child/parent when you go off to college, or to....