When I first got diagnosed with Lupus, I had a lot of people come up to me and tell me to "just keep fighting". They told me that I was strong, and that I could handle it. It hasn't been until recently that I have come to the decision of what it means to "fight" a chronic illness such as Lupus.
The first thing that pops into your mind when you say you are going to "fight" something is battling. You think of weaponry and battle. You think of a head-to-head combat, with one winner and the other invariably the loser.
When a person with a chronic illness takes this ideology, they will lose every time. My illness is chronic. It won't just suddenly go away. It may go into remission some day, but it will never completely leave me. It will always be my Constant Companion, and it will always be my obstacle to overcome.
I no longer think that "fighting" Lupus means that I need to continue my busy schedule during my bad days in order to beat it. Because I have found that when I do not pay attention to what my body is telling me, I end up in even worse shape the next day.
I have a good friend whose Mom died of breast cancer. I had the privilege of meeting her once. Strength shown through her eyes, and I see that same strength in her daughter's eyes today. If I were to take the battling perspective, filled with weaponry and heartache, I would have to say she lost the battle with cancer.
But the bottom line is she did not. She left a lasting legacy. She was so strong that her daughter feeds from that strength every day. She never let her cancer keep her from loving her daughter. She won because she never let her spirit and love of life die. It still lives.
I think we all can take a great lesson from her, and from anyone in this world who has a chronic illness and can wake up in the morning with a smile. Fighting Lupus does not involve me always having a good day. It does not involve me forcing myself to pretend to be healthy when I am not feeling that way.
What it does mean, is that I do not let Lupus kill my spirit and love of life. It means that I will wake up in the morning, with a smile on my face regardless of how swollen my body is that day. It means that I will no longer fret over the little things, like inevitable hair loss. It means that I will continue to live happily. It means that I will continue to help others to the best of my ability. It means that I will continue to be my bubbly, happy self.
That it what it means to fight.
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