Whoa! Has it really been that long?!
Minus one major temptation cave-in (Domino's breadsticks) that I regretted the next day when my knees started cracking again, my head started pounding, and generally just not feeling well I can proudly say I have stuck to this Paleo thing.
My bread recipes have turned out to be disastrous. I found one that used a box recipe that tasted okay, but that costs $5 per box!! With that type of money I'd prefer to just buy GF bread from the store that's pre-made. However, I just came across a cracker recipe I have a lot of faith in.
The recipe calls for butter, and I refuse to do milk yet (still have another 9 days to go before I try adding it back in). I found a recipe for Clarified Butter (basically it's butter with the milk proteins, sugars, and water removed). So all you have left is simply butter. It looks fairly simple to make, and at least in the future I'll have some butter to mask the horrible taste of my bread failures...
If it tastes anything like butter I'll post the recipe on here later.
So today I made some beef stew for myself and my sore throat.
A lot of recipes call for this bone broth mixture which I haven't tried yet...I do have a chicken carcass in my fridge awaiting my Mother's assistance. The recipe to make it is like 2 pages long and uses a lot of words I don't understand. So this way...if it turns out horribly, I can say it was 'we' failure instead of a 'me' failure.
But since I don't have any bone broth stuff made up this is what I did:
I helped Dad can some deer meat yesterday. I then took some canned deer meat with me when I left...perhaps more than what he realized I took. ;-)
Then I opened up the canned meat, and plopped it into a pan. I added some water, some carrots, and some spices. I put in some grilling seasoning, some parsley, and some black pepper. I stirred it up, and waited for the meat to cook.
Then I ate it. Yum.
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Friday, November 2, 2012
Lucky Day #13
So it really hasn't been "lucky" per se, I've just always wanted to have a post called "Lucky Day #13". I've been looking forward to this post for the past week and a half. lol
But I'm officially the energizer bunny on steroids! I've always been overly energetic, but lately I've had way more energy than usual.
Here's what I've had thus far today:
Breakfast:
Paleo Pancakes. YUM!
Lunch:
Tilapia and some steamed broccoli. I was really busy with work today, so I didn't have enough time to chop up some almonds for my tilapia toppings. I must say, after having this dish a few times and playing around with the ingredients, the way to really make it taste good is to add some season salt. The more the merrier.
Supper:
You know, I haven't really sat down today to eat a full meal. I've been snacking since 2ish or so. I've consumed: a banana, an apple, an orange, some cashews, a salad (no dressing--but I did chop up some bacon to make it a bit tastier), a handful of almonds, and a GF DF (gluten-free, dairy free) brownie. Which for the record, tastes WAY better than what it sounds.
I'm also about to consume some apple chips. There's another 10 minutes left on the oven until they're done. I'm not sure how they'll taste, but they smell AMAZING!!!
here's the recipe for the brownies:
1. Go to the store.
2. Purchase a GF DF brownie mix.
3. Add an egg, 1/4 C water, and 1/2 C unsweetened apple sauce.
4. Add in an additional 1/2 C chocolate chips (in addition to what the recipe tells you to add)
5. Bake at 350 degrees for 18 minutes.
6. Enjoy! :)
I bought a bunch of flour--tapioca and coconut in the hopes that I'll find the world's greatest GF bread recipe. I've got a list of 5 different bread recipes I plan on trying (all claiming to be the greatest GF bread recipe out there). No worries--I will wade through the dirty dishes, hours of sifting and baking in order to let you know what REALLY is the greatest GF bread recipe in the world. I got ya covered. :-)
But I'm officially the energizer bunny on steroids! I've always been overly energetic, but lately I've had way more energy than usual.
Here's what I've had thus far today:
Breakfast:
Paleo Pancakes. YUM!
Lunch:
Tilapia and some steamed broccoli. I was really busy with work today, so I didn't have enough time to chop up some almonds for my tilapia toppings. I must say, after having this dish a few times and playing around with the ingredients, the way to really make it taste good is to add some season salt. The more the merrier.
Supper:
You know, I haven't really sat down today to eat a full meal. I've been snacking since 2ish or so. I've consumed: a banana, an apple, an orange, some cashews, a salad (no dressing--but I did chop up some bacon to make it a bit tastier), a handful of almonds, and a GF DF (gluten-free, dairy free) brownie. Which for the record, tastes WAY better than what it sounds.
I'm also about to consume some apple chips. There's another 10 minutes left on the oven until they're done. I'm not sure how they'll taste, but they smell AMAZING!!!
here's the recipe for the brownies:
1. Go to the store.
2. Purchase a GF DF brownie mix.
3. Add an egg, 1/4 C water, and 1/2 C unsweetened apple sauce.
4. Add in an additional 1/2 C chocolate chips (in addition to what the recipe tells you to add)
5. Bake at 350 degrees for 18 minutes.
6. Enjoy! :)
I bought a bunch of flour--tapioca and coconut in the hopes that I'll find the world's greatest GF bread recipe. I've got a list of 5 different bread recipes I plan on trying (all claiming to be the greatest GF bread recipe out there). No worries--I will wade through the dirty dishes, hours of sifting and baking in order to let you know what REALLY is the greatest GF bread recipe in the world. I got ya covered. :-)
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Day #5-#12
Wow. I'm waaay behind on my blogs. Been rather busy lately with a variety of things--went out of town for work, had a hurricane come pay a visit, it started raining in my bathroom....you know, minor things like that.
Overall, I'd say I feel better in some aspects, and worse in others.
Pros of the last week:
-Swelling has gone done A LOT
-I feel pretty awesome when grocery shopping...I'm probably the only one in the store buying only healthy stuff--I have to fight the urge to go parade around the store showing off my healthy purchases.
-I have more energy than before
-I no longer need caffeine to operate (and anyone who has known me, knows that's something pretty spectacular in and of itself)
-I have discovered a love for researching new recipes, and......cooking! *gasp*
-I now realize there IS a life that exists without sweet tea! And I gotta say--it's a much cheaper one, too.
-I looked at my budget today and realized I have almost $60 more than usual! Most people complain about how expensive eating paleo is, but when a person eats out as much as I used to I'm actually saving money by doing this.
-I have zero idea if there is any scientific evidence of this for other people...but I have yet to have a Raynauds flare-up since day #3 of this thing. And I've been in some pretty cold places.
-Paleo Pancakes. They are God's gift to people everywhere, male and female alike.
Cons:
-I'm hallucinating--two days ago while I was at work, my pen miraculously turned into a bread stick from Olive Garden. I had it halfway to my mouth before I realized it was my pen.
-I no longer sleep only 4-5 hours/night. I'm now out for the count by 10P, and sleep like a log until 7:30 the next morning when my dog decides it's time to wake me up (30 minutes BEFORE my alarm goes off). Therefore, I'm not getting as much done. I now understand the saying "there's not enough hours in the day"
-The whole having to cook thing is beginning to get old, especially on days when I work until 5, then have to rush out the door by 5:05 in order to be on time somewhere by 5:30.
-Chili. I love chili. I tried a Paleo friendly recipe, and the word "suckage" doesn't even begin to describe it. I'd post the recipe on here so you can avoid it, but if you're anything like me you'll try it out just to see if it's as bad as I claim it to be--trust me, it is.
-Bread. It's all but disappeared from my diet. If I'm going to last much longer I NEED to find a paleo-friendly bread recipe.
Anyways....I gotta run. I have a date with a ping pong paddle and some friends. Hope you're having a good day!
Overall, I'd say I feel better in some aspects, and worse in others.
Pros of the last week:
-Swelling has gone done A LOT
-I feel pretty awesome when grocery shopping...I'm probably the only one in the store buying only healthy stuff--I have to fight the urge to go parade around the store showing off my healthy purchases.
-I have more energy than before
-I no longer need caffeine to operate (and anyone who has known me, knows that's something pretty spectacular in and of itself)
-I have discovered a love for researching new recipes, and......cooking! *gasp*
-I now realize there IS a life that exists without sweet tea! And I gotta say--it's a much cheaper one, too.
-I looked at my budget today and realized I have almost $60 more than usual! Most people complain about how expensive eating paleo is, but when a person eats out as much as I used to I'm actually saving money by doing this.
-I have zero idea if there is any scientific evidence of this for other people...but I have yet to have a Raynauds flare-up since day #3 of this thing. And I've been in some pretty cold places.
-Paleo Pancakes. They are God's gift to people everywhere, male and female alike.
Cons:
-I'm hallucinating--two days ago while I was at work, my pen miraculously turned into a bread stick from Olive Garden. I had it halfway to my mouth before I realized it was my pen.
-I no longer sleep only 4-5 hours/night. I'm now out for the count by 10P, and sleep like a log until 7:30 the next morning when my dog decides it's time to wake me up (30 minutes BEFORE my alarm goes off). Therefore, I'm not getting as much done. I now understand the saying "there's not enough hours in the day"
-The whole having to cook thing is beginning to get old, especially on days when I work until 5, then have to rush out the door by 5:05 in order to be on time somewhere by 5:30.
-Chili. I love chili. I tried a Paleo friendly recipe, and the word "suckage" doesn't even begin to describe it. I'd post the recipe on here so you can avoid it, but if you're anything like me you'll try it out just to see if it's as bad as I claim it to be--trust me, it is.
-Bread. It's all but disappeared from my diet. If I'm going to last much longer I NEED to find a paleo-friendly bread recipe.
Anyways....I gotta run. I have a date with a ping pong paddle and some friends. Hope you're having a good day!
Thursday, October 25, 2012
Day #4
Weird things that's happening to me that's different than before....
Weird Thing #1: My sleep cycle has drastically changed.
For instance, yesterday I woke up at 4A....FOUR AM!!!....bouncing out of bed ready for the day. I kept up the same, high energy level (without coffee *gasp*) for the whole day until about 8 that night. Then I fell asleep around 9, and slept like a rock until 6 this morning. This is pretty big coming from a girl that only slept 4-6 hours/night.
Weird Thing #2: No more cracking knees, baby!
Before my knees constantly ached, and cracked every time I moved them. It occurred to me on my drive home yesterday that they hadn't cracked more than once the whole day.
Weird Thing #3: SOOOOO hungry!
I seriously am eating myself out of house and home. It's like every 2 hours I'm hungry again. I'm not big on staying hungry, so I feel like I'm constantly eating.
Anyways...onto what I ate yesterday....
Breakfast: Bacon and a banana. Yum.
Lunch: Left over Tilapia and some steamed broccoli.
Dinner: Wednesdays are always a rushed affair ( is it "affair", "a fare", or...?) for me for supper. I usually eat at church, but this week I was afraid I'd cave to the food cooked by some of the best cooks in the world. So instead I ate at home--a lot--and arrived just before church started.
I ended up having some more of the tilapia and broccoli again. Sorry to bore you with my menu...but it's yummy..what can I say?
Weird Thing #1: My sleep cycle has drastically changed.
For instance, yesterday I woke up at 4A....FOUR AM!!!....bouncing out of bed ready for the day. I kept up the same, high energy level (without coffee *gasp*) for the whole day until about 8 that night. Then I fell asleep around 9, and slept like a rock until 6 this morning. This is pretty big coming from a girl that only slept 4-6 hours/night.
Weird Thing #2: No more cracking knees, baby!
Before my knees constantly ached, and cracked every time I moved them. It occurred to me on my drive home yesterday that they hadn't cracked more than once the whole day.
Weird Thing #3: SOOOOO hungry!
I seriously am eating myself out of house and home. It's like every 2 hours I'm hungry again. I'm not big on staying hungry, so I feel like I'm constantly eating.
Anyways...onto what I ate yesterday....
Breakfast: Bacon and a banana. Yum.
Lunch: Left over Tilapia and some steamed broccoli.
Dinner: Wednesdays are always a rushed affair ( is it "affair", "a fare", or...?) for me for supper. I usually eat at church, but this week I was afraid I'd cave to the food cooked by some of the best cooks in the world. So instead I ate at home--a lot--and arrived just before church started.
I ended up having some more of the tilapia and broccoli again. Sorry to bore you with my menu...but it's yummy..what can I say?
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
How to build your body up to running 3 miles when you have Lupus 101
Since my race I have been asked how I was able to run a 5K when I have Lupus.
Here's the answer:
Step #1: First you need to play around with your diet, figure out what some of your triggers are. For me, I'm super sensitive to nightshade vegetables (tomatoes, peppers). I stopped eating them.
Step #2: If you're currently in a flare-up you need to wait until you feel "normal" again. Don't make the same mistake I did by thinking going straight out and running will help. It won't. You'll just make your flare-up worse. Trust me on this.
Step #3: After you feel "normal", you need to start walking. Do it so slowly that you trick your body into thinking you're still laying in bed in agony....if you don't do it slowly enough you WILL be back in bed in agony.
First week: Walk no more than 5 minutes. Walk every day.
Second week: Walk no more than 10 minutes. Walk every day.
Third week: Walk no more than 15 minutes. Walk every day.
Step #4: Once you reach 30 minutes of walking, then it's time to start incorporating other activities that don't stress your knees (assuming you're like me and your Lupus effects one of them).
I did activities like bike riding, swimming, and hiking. Do each activity for no more than 10 minutes when you first start them. Build yourself up slowly to 30 minutes like you did with the walking. Do NOT do walking simultaneously as these activities, you'll end up stressing your body and throwing yourself into a flare.
The whole idea of doing the other activities is to get your body used to have an accelerated heart rate. Once you build up to 30 minutes, then add in 10 minutes of walking per day.
Step #5: Once you reach an hour of physical exercise, put yourself on the Couch potato to 5K runner's plan.
Stretch each day out for 3 days. So do Day 1 for 3 days, Day 2 for 3 days, and so on and so on.
Important note: On your off days, continue to do some form of physical exercise--walking, swimming biking, whatever. Just make sure you move every single day.
Listen to your body. If you feel your Lupus flaring up, then you MUST slow it down.
And as always, you know the drill--never start an exercise plan without the okay from your doctor.
Enjoy running, my friends!
Here's the answer:
Step #1: First you need to play around with your diet, figure out what some of your triggers are. For me, I'm super sensitive to nightshade vegetables (tomatoes, peppers). I stopped eating them.
Step #2: If you're currently in a flare-up you need to wait until you feel "normal" again. Don't make the same mistake I did by thinking going straight out and running will help. It won't. You'll just make your flare-up worse. Trust me on this.
Step #3: After you feel "normal", you need to start walking. Do it so slowly that you trick your body into thinking you're still laying in bed in agony....if you don't do it slowly enough you WILL be back in bed in agony.
First week: Walk no more than 5 minutes. Walk every day.
Second week: Walk no more than 10 minutes. Walk every day.
Third week: Walk no more than 15 minutes. Walk every day.
Step #4: Once you reach 30 minutes of walking, then it's time to start incorporating other activities that don't stress your knees (assuming you're like me and your Lupus effects one of them).
I did activities like bike riding, swimming, and hiking. Do each activity for no more than 10 minutes when you first start them. Build yourself up slowly to 30 minutes like you did with the walking. Do NOT do walking simultaneously as these activities, you'll end up stressing your body and throwing yourself into a flare.
The whole idea of doing the other activities is to get your body used to have an accelerated heart rate. Once you build up to 30 minutes, then add in 10 minutes of walking per day.
Step #5: Once you reach an hour of physical exercise, put yourself on the Couch potato to 5K runner's plan.
Stretch each day out for 3 days. So do Day 1 for 3 days, Day 2 for 3 days, and so on and so on.
Important note: On your off days, continue to do some form of physical exercise--walking, swimming biking, whatever. Just make sure you move every single day.
Listen to your body. If you feel your Lupus flaring up, then you MUST slow it down.
And as always, you know the drill--never start an exercise plan without the okay from your doctor.
Enjoy running, my friends!
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Paleo Day #3
Soo...day #3 and counting. Even though I feel kinda yucky, I'm still 100% LOVING the cooking aspect of this! It's like every day I have an excuse to try something new.
Breakfast--Okay, breakfast was a COMPLETE, epic fail. I tried recreating the chicken-egg stir-fry from yesterday, changing it up a bit thinking I could "improve" upon it. Totally blew up in my face. I choked down the first two bites, then threw the rest away. I ended up going simplistic with breakfast (mainly because I had run out of time before I had to start work) and had a banana and some bacon.
Lunch--I LOVE tilapia, but I've never made it before myself. I always just get it at restaurants, or in the frozen microwavable meal section at Walmart. But today I decided to be adventurous, and it was a SUCCESS! :)
I couldn't find a good, yummy looking paleo recipe for tilapia that did not include lemon juice (A--I don't have any, and B--I hate lemons) so I got creative. Here's what I did:
1--Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
2--Grease baking sheet with some coconut oil.
3--Put tilapia onto baking sheet, put one teaspoon of coconut oil on top of fish.
4--Open up spice cabinet and start grabbing things. I put on: some grilling seasoning, season salt, garlic powder, sea salt, black pepper, and parsley. Weird combination...I know...
5--Put it into oven and bake for 20-30 minutes, or until fish flakes easily.
6--Enjoy! :)
I happened to enjoy my tilapia when some super yummy steamed broccoli. Which happened to be extremely easy to make. All I did was cut up some broccoli, put it into a microwavable dish, put in 2-3 TBS of water, covered the dish, and put it in the microwave for 2 1/2 minutes. Then once it came out, I drained the water and sprinkled on some garlic powder.
Supper--I got devious. I decided to stray from the normal and have breakfast for dinner. Why not?
I made paleo pancakes. I got the recipe from another online blog, and they are PHENOMENAL!!!
Here's what ya do:
1--Combine: 2 eggs, 1/2 C unsweetened apple sauce, 1/2 C nut butter (I used almond butter), 1/4 tsp cinnamon, and 1/4 tsp vanilla extract in small bowl until you have a uniform batter.
2--Use coconut oil to grease a skillet.
3--Spread some batter into skillet to form pancake. (I found that cooking two teaspoon pancakes is WAY easier than bigger ones)
4--Cook over low/medium heat. Flip after 1-2 minutes.
**Be careful not to burn them. They burn easily...I learned this the hard way**
this made a TON of batter...way more than what I can consume in one night. I'm curious which way will store better overnight, so I cooked half of the left-over batter, put it onto a plate, and put it in the fridge. Then the rest of the batter I just put into a small container. I'll let ya know tomorrow which way wins. :)
Now as far as how I'm feeling....thankfully don't have the massive headache I did yesterday. But I am unbelievably tired. So much so that I'm contemplating going to sleep at 8 tonight like an old person.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Take that doc!
So yesterday I accomplished something I have been dreaming about since I was first diagnosed with Lupus--I ran a 5K. :)
2 1/2 years ago, when I was diagnosed my rheumy bluntly told me I would never be able to walk, let alone run, 3 miles again. I told him he's never seen what my God can do. Yesterday, by God's grace, I ran/walked 3 miles. WOOT!!!
Also, I started my Paleo diet yesterday in the hopes that it will help make my Lupus better.
Today was Day #2.
Today here's what I've eaten thus far....
Breakfast: Chicken/bacon/broccoli egg stir-fry. Amanda Scale of Yumminess (on a scale of 1-10): 6.
Lunch: Chicken/bacon salad. Amanda scale of Yumminess? 9
Snacks (not necessarily eaten after lunch): handful of almonds, handful of walnuts, a couple bananas, and I may or may not have had a dark chocolate bar. lol
Supper: Chicken/broccoli stir-fry. Amanda Scale of Yumminess? A BILLION!!!
Here's what ya do it:
Take some chicken. Drizzle olive oil on it, then put on a bunch of seasonings (garlic powder, salt, pepper). Cut it up into little pieces. Cook it.
Then put the chicken on a plate, put in whatever veggies you want....drizzle those in olive oil and garlic powder. Cook them until they're done.
Put the chicken back into the pan, and add in a handful of almonds. Cook for 90 seconds or so. And...you've just made perhaps one of the yummiest dishes I've eaten in a very long time.
I keep on expecting to experience this "carb flu" that everyone talks about--where my body goes through withdraw from all of the bread, pasta, and processed food I've been consuming. So far all I've experienced is an extreme thirst. Oh, and I had a REALLY bad headache this morning. But other than that, I still feel normal. :)
2 1/2 years ago, when I was diagnosed my rheumy bluntly told me I would never be able to walk, let alone run, 3 miles again. I told him he's never seen what my God can do. Yesterday, by God's grace, I ran/walked 3 miles. WOOT!!!
Also, I started my Paleo diet yesterday in the hopes that it will help make my Lupus better.
Today was Day #2.
Today here's what I've eaten thus far....
Breakfast: Chicken/bacon/broccoli egg stir-fry. Amanda Scale of Yumminess (on a scale of 1-10): 6.
Lunch: Chicken/bacon salad. Amanda scale of Yumminess? 9
Snacks (not necessarily eaten after lunch): handful of almonds, handful of walnuts, a couple bananas, and I may or may not have had a dark chocolate bar. lol
Supper: Chicken/broccoli stir-fry. Amanda Scale of Yumminess? A BILLION!!!
Here's what ya do it:
Take some chicken. Drizzle olive oil on it, then put on a bunch of seasonings (garlic powder, salt, pepper). Cut it up into little pieces. Cook it.
Then put the chicken on a plate, put in whatever veggies you want....drizzle those in olive oil and garlic powder. Cook them until they're done.
Put the chicken back into the pan, and add in a handful of almonds. Cook for 90 seconds or so. And...you've just made perhaps one of the yummiest dishes I've eaten in a very long time.
I keep on expecting to experience this "carb flu" that everyone talks about--where my body goes through withdraw from all of the bread, pasta, and processed food I've been consuming. So far all I've experienced is an extreme thirst. Oh, and I had a REALLY bad headache this morning. But other than that, I still feel normal. :)
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Lupus Cure?
So if you've talked with me at all within the past 2 weeks, you'll hear all about two things:
1--I'm doing my VERY FIRST 5K since my Lupus diagnosis this Sunday!!! I'm so stokes. I am unbelievably nervous about it though. Mainly because I haven't finished my training program yet....my Lupus flared a bit and I felt it best to scale back on the training program. So I doubt my time will be as amazing as it used to be, but I'm going to cross that finish line even if I have to crawl.
2--The Paleo Diet, the great Dr. Jean Seignalet, and how both relate to my Lupus.
One of my good friends started the Paleo diet and mentioned to me how the Paleo diet helps autoimmune diseases.
If you've never heard of it before, basically you can only eat meats, vegetables, and fruit--no processed food, no grain (breads, pastas), and no dairy.
I've never been one to take someone's word for truth until I study it myself. So I ran across this video:
http://www.myhealthblog.org/2010/03/26/lupus-treatment-success-rate-100-via-paleo-diet-in-france/
The site itself didn't really look like the most trustworthy site, so I checked into it some more.
Then I came across this site:
http://paleozonenutrition.com/2011/04/01/dr-jean-seignalet-ancestral-diet-and-auto-immune-disease-trials/
Much more noteworthy, and they saved me time from tracking down the doctor mentioned in the first video. So then I did a Google search on Dr. Jean Seignalet....sure enough, he exists...he did this study...and it appears to work.
So yours truly is going to do a very strict Paleo diet, and cut out all tomatoes, etc. as well.
I already know from past experience that going gluten-free helps..I'm curious as to how I'll feel after with no dairy, no grains (including potatoes!), and no processed food. Minus the no diary, it sounds extremely healthy for you.
I'm going to start said diet on Sunday--right after my race. I would do it before, but I don't want to "shock" my body before one of the most noteworthy events of my life since my diagnosis. Didn't seem like the most intelligent thing to do.
I rationed out what I figured I'd eat throughout the rest of the week, and I just gave away the rest of my non-Paleo food that I won't be able to eat before Sunday. It amazes me at the amount of stuff I had. I ended up giving a bunch to three different people, and all three people commented on how I had so much food. The picture shows only part of it--that's not including everything in my fridge and freezer.
Anyways...I'll be sure to keep you updated on how things go. I'm planning on documenting my progress, much like a journal on a semi-regular basis. I'm going to shoot for once a day, or at least 5 times/week. I'll be sharing what I'm eating, how good the recipes taste, how to make said recipes, and how I'm feeling.
From my understanding, when I first start the diet I'll experience the "carb flu"--a withdraw from all of the sugary and processed foods. Apparently I'll have a headache, be tired, and feel yucky. But if this helps with Lupus, a couple weeks of yuckiness will be worth it in the end.
1--I'm doing my VERY FIRST 5K since my Lupus diagnosis this Sunday!!! I'm so stokes. I am unbelievably nervous about it though. Mainly because I haven't finished my training program yet....my Lupus flared a bit and I felt it best to scale back on the training program. So I doubt my time will be as amazing as it used to be, but I'm going to cross that finish line even if I have to crawl.
2--The Paleo Diet, the great Dr. Jean Seignalet, and how both relate to my Lupus.
One of my good friends started the Paleo diet and mentioned to me how the Paleo diet helps autoimmune diseases.
If you've never heard of it before, basically you can only eat meats, vegetables, and fruit--no processed food, no grain (breads, pastas), and no dairy.
I've never been one to take someone's word for truth until I study it myself. So I ran across this video:
http://www.myhealthblog.org/2010/03/26/lupus-treatment-success-rate-100-via-paleo-diet-in-france/
The site itself didn't really look like the most trustworthy site, so I checked into it some more.
Then I came across this site:
http://paleozonenutrition.com/2011/04/01/dr-jean-seignalet-ancestral-diet-and-auto-immune-disease-trials/
Much more noteworthy, and they saved me time from tracking down the doctor mentioned in the first video. So then I did a Google search on Dr. Jean Seignalet....sure enough, he exists...he did this study...and it appears to work.
So yours truly is going to do a very strict Paleo diet, and cut out all tomatoes, etc. as well.
I already know from past experience that going gluten-free helps..I'm curious as to how I'll feel after with no dairy, no grains (including potatoes!), and no processed food. Minus the no diary, it sounds extremely healthy for you.
I'm going to start said diet on Sunday--right after my race. I would do it before, but I don't want to "shock" my body before one of the most noteworthy events of my life since my diagnosis. Didn't seem like the most intelligent thing to do.
I rationed out what I figured I'd eat throughout the rest of the week, and I just gave away the rest of my non-Paleo food that I won't be able to eat before Sunday. It amazes me at the amount of stuff I had. I ended up giving a bunch to three different people, and all three people commented on how I had so much food. The picture shows only part of it--that's not including everything in my fridge and freezer.
Anyways...I'll be sure to keep you updated on how things go. I'm planning on documenting my progress, much like a journal on a semi-regular basis. I'm going to shoot for once a day, or at least 5 times/week. I'll be sharing what I'm eating, how good the recipes taste, how to make said recipes, and how I'm feeling.
From my understanding, when I first start the diet I'll experience the "carb flu"--a withdraw from all of the sugary and processed foods. Apparently I'll have a headache, be tired, and feel yucky. But if this helps with Lupus, a couple weeks of yuckiness will be worth it in the end.
Friday, August 3, 2012
Life from a Woman's Eyes
First off, I'd like to apologize for the following post. It is going to be slightly pessimisstic, brutally honest, and extremely blunt. If you cannot handle the complete truth....please do not read on. But I'd like to share with the world what life from a woman's perspective feels like.
Life as a female in the great USA sometimes does not feel good. Actually, often it doesn't. Life in my shoes is a constant battle between a desire to "fit in" with the crowd by wearing "cool" clothes; while still dressing in such a manner that does not attract male attention.
I do not find being whistled at while I'm out running pleasurable. In fact, it makes me feel like a piece of meat on sale for the highest bidder. I avoid running in public for that very reason. And the times I DO run in populated areas, I wear the baggiest clothes I own. But that doesn't stop the rude, obnoxious idiots who feel that by rudely showing their appreciation for my physical appearance will actually get them somewhere.
There are many times that I fight the desire to go kick them in the balls. Maybe then they'll start thinking with the right head.
Life as a female in the world is tough. I'm told that living in the mind of a male is tough as well. Perhaps the battle is equally difficult, just in different mannerisms.
How about this men of the world...I promise I will dress modestly, will go out of my way to not tempt you to be an obnoxious idiot, if you promise me to stop looking, talking, or whistling at me like I'm a piece of dirt waiting to be stomped upon.
Oh, but this is not the end of my rant. Far, far, FAR from it.
Today I was told and I quote....that I am "a borderline mental headcase, abnormal, unsocialable, and unlikeable". How many different ways can you say OUCH?
As a kid growing up, I struggled with self-esteem....a lot. I think every little girl does, and a lot of our insecurities from our childhood carry on into our adult lives. One of my insecurities was my weight. Being overweight as a kid left me on the sidelines a lot growing up. I was one of the last picked for teams during gym, I didn't really have a lot of friends. I was unsociable. I was unlikeable.
But even as a kid, it's all about where you fit in. No two people are alike, and I'll be the first one to say that there ARE some people walking this planet who I avoid. I do so not because I think they're horrible people....but because our personalities just don't mesh. Period. For some I'd rather be covered in papercuts and thrown into a pool full of lemon juice than be in the same room for them for an extended period of time.
Kids in this world feel that in order to make themselves feel better, they need to put others down. They don't realize that next month someone will probably do the exact same thing to them--hurt their feelings.
I pray that whoever is reading this realizes that perhaps the WORST thing you can do to a female--no matter what her age is....is to verbally insult her. Those insults are what lead to insecurities. And those insecurities are what lead to further issues down the line (from eating disorders to suicide).
If you have a "problem" with her, then sit down and think about the nicest way to say what you need to say. For insance:
You're so fat and ugly NO you can't come to my party! = Bad
Of course you can come to my party! You want to come over early? We're having a pre-party to help us get ready! Gonna do our hair, make-up, etc! = Good (Then of course you actually let her be part of the group. Don't stand her up, or ignore her when she comes. That defeats the purpose)
I know that what that person said to met today is not true. But hearing someone say it still hurts. It still sucks. And it's not cool.
So moral of the story: Be nice.
Oh...and one more thing: For every person reading this, no matter what your age...I want you to know you ARE beautiful. God created you just the way he wanted, and every blemish, scar, or mark on your flesh is right where He wants it. That mark on your cheek from a hairstraightener accident....that doesn't make you ugly. It makes you unique. And I think uniqueness is pretty cool.
I'm cool. I'm unique. I'm the only me I know. And you are the best you I know. So start ignoring all the crappy things people say--they're only saying it cause they feel crappy about themselves.
Just trust me on this.
Life as a female in the great USA sometimes does not feel good. Actually, often it doesn't. Life in my shoes is a constant battle between a desire to "fit in" with the crowd by wearing "cool" clothes; while still dressing in such a manner that does not attract male attention.
I do not find being whistled at while I'm out running pleasurable. In fact, it makes me feel like a piece of meat on sale for the highest bidder. I avoid running in public for that very reason. And the times I DO run in populated areas, I wear the baggiest clothes I own. But that doesn't stop the rude, obnoxious idiots who feel that by rudely showing their appreciation for my physical appearance will actually get them somewhere.
There are many times that I fight the desire to go kick them in the balls. Maybe then they'll start thinking with the right head.
Life as a female in the world is tough. I'm told that living in the mind of a male is tough as well. Perhaps the battle is equally difficult, just in different mannerisms.
How about this men of the world...I promise I will dress modestly, will go out of my way to not tempt you to be an obnoxious idiot, if you promise me to stop looking, talking, or whistling at me like I'm a piece of dirt waiting to be stomped upon.
Oh, but this is not the end of my rant. Far, far, FAR from it.
Today I was told and I quote....that I am "a borderline mental headcase, abnormal, unsocialable, and unlikeable". How many different ways can you say OUCH?
As a kid growing up, I struggled with self-esteem....a lot. I think every little girl does, and a lot of our insecurities from our childhood carry on into our adult lives. One of my insecurities was my weight. Being overweight as a kid left me on the sidelines a lot growing up. I was one of the last picked for teams during gym, I didn't really have a lot of friends. I was unsociable. I was unlikeable.
But even as a kid, it's all about where you fit in. No two people are alike, and I'll be the first one to say that there ARE some people walking this planet who I avoid. I do so not because I think they're horrible people....but because our personalities just don't mesh. Period. For some I'd rather be covered in papercuts and thrown into a pool full of lemon juice than be in the same room for them for an extended period of time.
Kids in this world feel that in order to make themselves feel better, they need to put others down. They don't realize that next month someone will probably do the exact same thing to them--hurt their feelings.
I pray that whoever is reading this realizes that perhaps the WORST thing you can do to a female--no matter what her age is....is to verbally insult her. Those insults are what lead to insecurities. And those insecurities are what lead to further issues down the line (from eating disorders to suicide).
If you have a "problem" with her, then sit down and think about the nicest way to say what you need to say. For insance:
You're so fat and ugly NO you can't come to my party! = Bad
Of course you can come to my party! You want to come over early? We're having a pre-party to help us get ready! Gonna do our hair, make-up, etc! = Good (Then of course you actually let her be part of the group. Don't stand her up, or ignore her when she comes. That defeats the purpose)
I know that what that person said to met today is not true. But hearing someone say it still hurts. It still sucks. And it's not cool.
So moral of the story: Be nice.
Oh...and one more thing: For every person reading this, no matter what your age...I want you to know you ARE beautiful. God created you just the way he wanted, and every blemish, scar, or mark on your flesh is right where He wants it. That mark on your cheek from a hairstraightener accident....that doesn't make you ugly. It makes you unique. And I think uniqueness is pretty cool.
I'm cool. I'm unique. I'm the only me I know. And you are the best you I know. So start ignoring all the crappy things people say--they're only saying it cause they feel crappy about themselves.
Just trust me on this.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Bob the Tomato
So if you've known me for any period of time, you're well aware my thoughts can be both deep and random simultaneously. You'll also know that I have a tendency to become so focused on said thoughts that I miss turns while driving (Ex: I was late to Sunday school this past Sunday) and I will toss and turn while thinking through said thoughts.
The past few days I've been thinking about football games, character, apple trees, and a friend of mine whom we'll call Bob* (short for Bob the Tomato off of Veggie Tales).
There are many different people you come across as you journey through this venture called life. You'll find those who are too stuck up on themselves to notice the world around them...those whose only goal in life is to succeed at the American dream. You'll find those who are in various stages of life, but are oh so unhappy with where they are. You'll find the unhappy mother who cries herself to sleep, because her husband left her for another woman. You'll find young girls having sex with their boyfriend because they've never been shown what true love is. You'll find different things, because people are different.
It is a very rare occurance when you meet someone whose love for God is so full that it overflows--it overflows into how that person carries themseves, how they interact with people, how they care for others, and how they handle the curve balls of life.
Now I'm not talking about any regular Christian here, I'm talking about the one you WANT to be around because you feel simply by being around them that you'll somehow be closer to God. I'm talking about the one who doesn't talk about how important it is to have a personal relationship with Jesus, but the one who actually has a relationship so deep he/she can't help but talk about the greatest love story of all time.
Our churches are filled with "regular Christians". Sometimes I fear many of our pastors are "regular Christians". Regular Christians know all of the Bible answers...heck, regular Christians go to church faithfully EVERY Sunday.
Regular Christians are like fans at a a football game. They go because the team (in this case, God) is doing well. They're being blessed by their teammate; therefore, they go to the game. They might be daring enough to even attend a game in a bit of rain or snow. But the moment the team starts to lose, or the moment God allows some icky stuff to creep into their life...they stop going to the game.
They might attend church every now and then simply not to raise eyebrows...after all, they don't want people to think poorly of them. Just like fans at a football game, being a regular Christian is focused all on you.
Now Bob......Bob's not your regular Christian. I had the privilage of talking with Bob for a while this past week. I'd mention his name, but from what I know about him I don't think he'd like that too much. Just like a devoted Christian, he wants it to be all about God-not about himself.
Bob's love and adoration for Christ runs so deep that's it's contagious. If you wanna stay as a regular Christian, I highly suggest not hanging around Bob. He should come with a warning sign that reads "I love Jesus". His character is so deeply grounded in the scriptures that it makes you speechless.
I'm not sure what has happened to our American churches, but I know there's a problem. And I know that problem needs fixed. Unfortunately, this type of problem won't be fixed with hammers or screwdrivers, because it's a problem of the heart.
Our churches are filled with regular Christians who proclaim they love Jesus, but yet fail to live it out.
Granted, I've never followed Bob around 24/7, but I'd say it's safe to say that his Bible never leaves his side except for short periods of time. Because his Bible his is access to learning more about the God whom he loves so dearly. His Bible is an extension of his God.
I wish more Christians were like Bob the Tomato.
*Bob the Tomato is not his name; in fact, his name isn't even Bob. Just wanted to point that out.
The past few days I've been thinking about football games, character, apple trees, and a friend of mine whom we'll call Bob* (short for Bob the Tomato off of Veggie Tales).
There are many different people you come across as you journey through this venture called life. You'll find those who are too stuck up on themselves to notice the world around them...those whose only goal in life is to succeed at the American dream. You'll find those who are in various stages of life, but are oh so unhappy with where they are. You'll find the unhappy mother who cries herself to sleep, because her husband left her for another woman. You'll find young girls having sex with their boyfriend because they've never been shown what true love is. You'll find different things, because people are different.
It is a very rare occurance when you meet someone whose love for God is so full that it overflows--it overflows into how that person carries themseves, how they interact with people, how they care for others, and how they handle the curve balls of life.
Now I'm not talking about any regular Christian here, I'm talking about the one you WANT to be around because you feel simply by being around them that you'll somehow be closer to God. I'm talking about the one who doesn't talk about how important it is to have a personal relationship with Jesus, but the one who actually has a relationship so deep he/she can't help but talk about the greatest love story of all time.
Our churches are filled with "regular Christians". Sometimes I fear many of our pastors are "regular Christians". Regular Christians know all of the Bible answers...heck, regular Christians go to church faithfully EVERY Sunday.
Regular Christians are like fans at a a football game. They go because the team (in this case, God) is doing well. They're being blessed by their teammate; therefore, they go to the game. They might be daring enough to even attend a game in a bit of rain or snow. But the moment the team starts to lose, or the moment God allows some icky stuff to creep into their life...they stop going to the game.
They might attend church every now and then simply not to raise eyebrows...after all, they don't want people to think poorly of them. Just like fans at a football game, being a regular Christian is focused all on you.
Now Bob......Bob's not your regular Christian. I had the privilage of talking with Bob for a while this past week. I'd mention his name, but from what I know about him I don't think he'd like that too much. Just like a devoted Christian, he wants it to be all about God-not about himself.
Bob's love and adoration for Christ runs so deep that's it's contagious. If you wanna stay as a regular Christian, I highly suggest not hanging around Bob. He should come with a warning sign that reads "I love Jesus". His character is so deeply grounded in the scriptures that it makes you speechless.
I'm not sure what has happened to our American churches, but I know there's a problem. And I know that problem needs fixed. Unfortunately, this type of problem won't be fixed with hammers or screwdrivers, because it's a problem of the heart.
Our churches are filled with regular Christians who proclaim they love Jesus, but yet fail to live it out.
Granted, I've never followed Bob around 24/7, but I'd say it's safe to say that his Bible never leaves his side except for short periods of time. Because his Bible his is access to learning more about the God whom he loves so dearly. His Bible is an extension of his God.
I wish more Christians were like Bob the Tomato.
*Bob the Tomato is not his name; in fact, his name isn't even Bob. Just wanted to point that out.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Let's Get Cookin'!
Everyone who has talked to me for more than five minutes, knows that I'm a passionate person. I always have been, and always will be.
I've been spending a lot of time thinking lately. I want to organize an autoimmune disease awareness walk.
The whole being a proactive person, and not doing anything really to help myself or others has been driving me crazy since my diganosis. I mean, there's things I do--go to doctor's, etc. that keeps me proactive in my health. But I soooo want to be able to do something on a larger scale to help out more people.
So here's what I'm thinkin'. Please feel free to tell me I am insane, need to check myself into a mental institution, or to just critque my ideas into something that will be more manageable. Also, if you would like to be on the planning committee for said crazy idea....lemme know. :-D
After much thought, instead of doing a Lupus awareness walk with the LFA (Lupus Foundation of America) I would prefer to do autoimmune diseases as a whole. Please see the following link for more details about the organization.
http://www.autoimmunewalk.org/aawalk/aboutwalk.asp?action=publish&mode=normal&cmsid=1464&varcontentname=AboutWalk
This is the first year they have ever done an Autoimmune Walk. I'd like to participate next year.
The idea is getting together at a track of some sorts, so people who have not lucked out as much as I have with their diseases will still be able to participate. At the completion of each lap they receive a link. On the link, they can either put a person's name who has a disease, or the disease itself.
They then will take that link and attach it to the "common link chain". At the closing ceremonies, we will hold that link up so that news people, journal writers, and quite frankly the WORLD can see how complicated Autoimmune Diseases are.
Right now, there is no "Autoimmune Disease" doctor. Instead, in order to reach a diagnosis many people are shuffled from one doctor to another in a desperate attempt to discover the reasoning for their sickness. Then once we FINALLY find out why we're in so much pain, we are told there is no cure. We are told we'll have to live a life of medication popping and chronic pain.
Autoimmune disease awareness needs to be blared from the loudest speakers, and shouted from rooftops. We need to raise awareness for something that affects more people than cancer! yet cancer is more heard of. Most people when you try to tell them about your illness, cock their head to one side and raise their eyebrows in confusion.
This needs to be done. Will you help?
I've been spending a lot of time thinking lately. I want to organize an autoimmune disease awareness walk.
The whole being a proactive person, and not doing anything really to help myself or others has been driving me crazy since my diganosis. I mean, there's things I do--go to doctor's, etc. that keeps me proactive in my health. But I soooo want to be able to do something on a larger scale to help out more people.
So here's what I'm thinkin'. Please feel free to tell me I am insane, need to check myself into a mental institution, or to just critque my ideas into something that will be more manageable. Also, if you would like to be on the planning committee for said crazy idea....lemme know. :-D
After much thought, instead of doing a Lupus awareness walk with the LFA (Lupus Foundation of America) I would prefer to do autoimmune diseases as a whole. Please see the following link for more details about the organization.
http://www.autoimmunewalk.org/aawalk/aboutwalk.asp?action=publish&mode=normal&cmsid=1464&varcontentname=AboutWalk
This is the first year they have ever done an Autoimmune Walk. I'd like to participate next year.
The idea is getting together at a track of some sorts, so people who have not lucked out as much as I have with their diseases will still be able to participate. At the completion of each lap they receive a link. On the link, they can either put a person's name who has a disease, or the disease itself.
They then will take that link and attach it to the "common link chain". At the closing ceremonies, we will hold that link up so that news people, journal writers, and quite frankly the WORLD can see how complicated Autoimmune Diseases are.
Right now, there is no "Autoimmune Disease" doctor. Instead, in order to reach a diagnosis many people are shuffled from one doctor to another in a desperate attempt to discover the reasoning for their sickness. Then once we FINALLY find out why we're in so much pain, we are told there is no cure. We are told we'll have to live a life of medication popping and chronic pain.
Autoimmune disease awareness needs to be blared from the loudest speakers, and shouted from rooftops. We need to raise awareness for something that affects more people than cancer! yet cancer is more heard of. Most people when you try to tell them about your illness, cock their head to one side and raise their eyebrows in confusion.
This needs to be done. Will you help?
Monday, January 30, 2012
Look around you....
Look around you. There’s tragedy everywhere—young girls getting painful diseases, people are being murdered, people dying. Our world is fallen, there’s no question about it. People suffer, people are in pain, and in the midst of all of this our initial reaction is to cry out to God telling him to fix it.
We beg, we plead, and we make bargains with God. Deep down I think all of us know that he’s…well, he’s God. He’s omniscient (all-knowing), he’s omnipotent (all-powerful), he’s omnipresent (everywhere simultaneously). We demand for justice. We demanded that Casey Anthony get punished for killing her daughter. We demand to know why our loved one just died. We demand that the man who hurt us gets punished. We seek justice for ourselves, and often for other people.
But what is justice? In the great USA we certainly have our definitions. But is that the real meaning of justice?
I suppose to truly answer the question we’d have to look back in time…..
Once upon a time, on a land called Earth, there was this man and woman named Adam and Eve. They both screwed up. They did something that was wrong. They sinned. And that began the story our lives. We now are born into a sinful world. Our bodies fail. People we love get cancer, and we’re forced to watch them die before our very eyes. Marriages get screwed up. The husband starts drinking, and doing drugs, and beating on his wife. Dads make mistakes, and end up dying because of it. Because of those mistakes, they leave their children without a father.
Life isn’t fair. Everywhere we look things just flat-out aren’t fair.
And to top off the unfairness, God sent his son to die for us. Seriously? Think about it. Think about who we are, the world that we live in, and yet someone died for us? That’s not fair. Don’t get me wrong, that’s blooming AWESOME…but that’s not fair and in our own eyes, according to our own definitions that’s not justice being served.
If justice were actually served, we’d be rotting in hell for the rest of eternity. But you know what? There’s this cool theological word called “propitiation”. Basically, God can’t just simply pass over sin. In Romans 3:25 we see what’s called propitiation. It’s a sacrifice that satisfies justice.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since my diagnosis. Getting lupus definitely isn’t my ideal life. My ideal life involves trips overseas, it involves fun and exciting things. My ideal life would be me going sky diving, flying planes, and living a life on the edge. Lupus kind of gets in the way of that sometimes. And it’s not fair. But it’s my reality.
I’ve been angry. I’ve been asking those “Why me?!” questions. I’m sure many of us have thought similar thoughts. I know I sure have…especially in these past couple years. Mere words do not describe the depths of my anger since my diagnosis. There’s no need to go into details, let’s just leave it at I’ve been pretty pissed off for far too long.
But do you know what a gift it is to have a chronic illness? Because of my constant pain, I’m constantly reminded of how I don’t know the narrative of the end of my life. Lupus may very well kill me one day. One day I may die of failed kidneys, livers, etc. I can’t control what happens to me. Who knows? I may die on my way to work today. We don’t know what, or how, we’re going to die. The fact is—we are going to die.
I believe that I was purchased with a price. That Jesus died on the cross to pay for my sins so that I could have a relationship with God. I don’t know about you, but I try to take care of my purchases…especially the more expensive ones. So my question is why does God allow us to hurt and be damaged?
I won’t pretend to know the answers. And to do so would be the height of presumption. But I do know that I seem to learn the most when I suffer the most. Growing up my Dad would spank me when I did something wrong as my punishment. Of course, I was the perfect child so that hardly ever happened (….just kidding….I’m surprised I don’t have welts from my childhood…). But if we lived in a utopia, we would learn nothing. End of story.
We can’t control how we die, but we can control how we live. The “why me” questions are designed more to express your anguish than to actually find answers.
We desire lives of simplicity, with nice and paved walkways for as far as our eyes can see. But I’m quickly finding that God loves to throw you curve balls. He puts us in situations that we look around us and wonder exactly how strong God seems to think we are. We think we’re going to fall apart, and break, that we’re not strong enough to do this and to make it through this. But somehow, someway, with God’s love and grace, we persevere. The crappy situations we find ourselves in, the ones that make our stomachs churn and hearts race, are the ones that we seem to learn the most from. Those are the ones that strengthen our faith and grant us wisdom and joy we would not experience otherwise.
II Corinthians 4:16-18 says the following…and please read this. Don’t just skim over it like you usually do when you see passages of scripture pop up.
“16 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 17 For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal”
I’m not gonna lie. Living a life in constant pain is well, painful. It’s hard. It’s hard to keep a smile on sometimes, but I am a vapor of smoke. This pain I’m in isn’t forever. One day I’ll have a new body, without pain and without default. One day I’ll be in heaven with my Father. One day.
In our lives it’s so hard sometimes to keep our eyes on the goal, and to keep in mind that “our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself” (Philippians 4:15). It’s so easy to focus on the negatives, or to get discouraged, or to get angry at God or at our circumstances.
We feel as if He’s in charge, that He should fix our problems, that He should provide us some miracle to save our son from dying, or to heal us, or to give us enough money to make our bills work. He IS in charge, but sometimes we forget.
We forget that this isn’t our movie. We aren’t the stars of planet Earth, we’re only the stand-ins. You know…the ones where you only see the back of our head for a split second. Planet Earth is about God. It’s not about me, it’s not about my problems. It’s about God. God made the movie, God’s the star of the movie. This is His movie, His world, and His gift. Sometimes when we face hard times, we just have to keep reminding ourselves that this crappy situation we’ve found ourselves in IS in God’s plan. He’s not forgotten about us, He didn’t decide to go take a nap. He’s still here with us. He’s still in control, and the beautiful thing is that He always will be.
***Note: I actually wrote this close to a month ago. This is a prime example of how "quickly" I get on to posting things. lol
We beg, we plead, and we make bargains with God. Deep down I think all of us know that he’s…well, he’s God. He’s omniscient (all-knowing), he’s omnipotent (all-powerful), he’s omnipresent (everywhere simultaneously). We demand for justice. We demanded that Casey Anthony get punished for killing her daughter. We demand to know why our loved one just died. We demand that the man who hurt us gets punished. We seek justice for ourselves, and often for other people.
But what is justice? In the great USA we certainly have our definitions. But is that the real meaning of justice?
I suppose to truly answer the question we’d have to look back in time…..
Once upon a time, on a land called Earth, there was this man and woman named Adam and Eve. They both screwed up. They did something that was wrong. They sinned. And that began the story our lives. We now are born into a sinful world. Our bodies fail. People we love get cancer, and we’re forced to watch them die before our very eyes. Marriages get screwed up. The husband starts drinking, and doing drugs, and beating on his wife. Dads make mistakes, and end up dying because of it. Because of those mistakes, they leave their children without a father.
Life isn’t fair. Everywhere we look things just flat-out aren’t fair.
And to top off the unfairness, God sent his son to die for us. Seriously? Think about it. Think about who we are, the world that we live in, and yet someone died for us? That’s not fair. Don’t get me wrong, that’s blooming AWESOME…but that’s not fair and in our own eyes, according to our own definitions that’s not justice being served.
If justice were actually served, we’d be rotting in hell for the rest of eternity. But you know what? There’s this cool theological word called “propitiation”. Basically, God can’t just simply pass over sin. In Romans 3:25 we see what’s called propitiation. It’s a sacrifice that satisfies justice.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking since my diagnosis. Getting lupus definitely isn’t my ideal life. My ideal life involves trips overseas, it involves fun and exciting things. My ideal life would be me going sky diving, flying planes, and living a life on the edge. Lupus kind of gets in the way of that sometimes. And it’s not fair. But it’s my reality.
I’ve been angry. I’ve been asking those “Why me?!” questions. I’m sure many of us have thought similar thoughts. I know I sure have…especially in these past couple years. Mere words do not describe the depths of my anger since my diagnosis. There’s no need to go into details, let’s just leave it at I’ve been pretty pissed off for far too long.
But do you know what a gift it is to have a chronic illness? Because of my constant pain, I’m constantly reminded of how I don’t know the narrative of the end of my life. Lupus may very well kill me one day. One day I may die of failed kidneys, livers, etc. I can’t control what happens to me. Who knows? I may die on my way to work today. We don’t know what, or how, we’re going to die. The fact is—we are going to die.
I believe that I was purchased with a price. That Jesus died on the cross to pay for my sins so that I could have a relationship with God. I don’t know about you, but I try to take care of my purchases…especially the more expensive ones. So my question is why does God allow us to hurt and be damaged?
I won’t pretend to know the answers. And to do so would be the height of presumption. But I do know that I seem to learn the most when I suffer the most. Growing up my Dad would spank me when I did something wrong as my punishment. Of course, I was the perfect child so that hardly ever happened (….just kidding….I’m surprised I don’t have welts from my childhood…). But if we lived in a utopia, we would learn nothing. End of story.
We can’t control how we die, but we can control how we live. The “why me” questions are designed more to express your anguish than to actually find answers.
We desire lives of simplicity, with nice and paved walkways for as far as our eyes can see. But I’m quickly finding that God loves to throw you curve balls. He puts us in situations that we look around us and wonder exactly how strong God seems to think we are. We think we’re going to fall apart, and break, that we’re not strong enough to do this and to make it through this. But somehow, someway, with God’s love and grace, we persevere. The crappy situations we find ourselves in, the ones that make our stomachs churn and hearts race, are the ones that we seem to learn the most from. Those are the ones that strengthen our faith and grant us wisdom and joy we would not experience otherwise.
II Corinthians 4:16-18 says the following…and please read this. Don’t just skim over it like you usually do when you see passages of scripture pop up.
“16 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 17 For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal”
I’m not gonna lie. Living a life in constant pain is well, painful. It’s hard. It’s hard to keep a smile on sometimes, but I am a vapor of smoke. This pain I’m in isn’t forever. One day I’ll have a new body, without pain and without default. One day I’ll be in heaven with my Father. One day.
In our lives it’s so hard sometimes to keep our eyes on the goal, and to keep in mind that “our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself” (Philippians 4:15). It’s so easy to focus on the negatives, or to get discouraged, or to get angry at God or at our circumstances.
We feel as if He’s in charge, that He should fix our problems, that He should provide us some miracle to save our son from dying, or to heal us, or to give us enough money to make our bills work. He IS in charge, but sometimes we forget.
We forget that this isn’t our movie. We aren’t the stars of planet Earth, we’re only the stand-ins. You know…the ones where you only see the back of our head for a split second. Planet Earth is about God. It’s not about me, it’s not about my problems. It’s about God. God made the movie, God’s the star of the movie. This is His movie, His world, and His gift. Sometimes when we face hard times, we just have to keep reminding ourselves that this crappy situation we’ve found ourselves in IS in God’s plan. He’s not forgotten about us, He didn’t decide to go take a nap. He’s still here with us. He’s still in control, and the beautiful thing is that He always will be.
***Note: I actually wrote this close to a month ago. This is a prime example of how "quickly" I get on to posting things. lol
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Sunday, November 20, 2011
If I Can Get Through This
WOW. Super long time since I've blooged, huh?
I admit it-I'm a closet metal-head. One of my favorite radio stations is 101.5 Bob Rocks. I heard a song a few months ago I fell in love with, and feel as if it describes emotionally how I feel about my Lupus.
There are days like today that I really struggle to see a positive--any positive--of having a chronic illness. It's the days when I had a horrible night, constantly waking up in pain. The nights when I wake up at 3 am with a mouth so dry it feels like someone poured sand down my throat while I was sleeping.
Or a morning when my whole body is in so swollen it's hard to move. The mornings when I find a handful of hair on my pillow. The mornings I wake up nauseous, head-pounding, body aching.
It's times like this when I honestly don't know what to do to help me feel better. The times when I feel so hopeless. I try to sleep, but my body hurts too much and wakes me up. I try to distract myself mentally by watching a movie or reading a book, but my head feels like it's going to explode.
It's times like this when I understand why when looking into another person's eyes who has a chronic illness I see no hope. It's times like this when I understand their grumpiness and pessimistic attitude.
But I've always been a fighter. I may have my grumpy moments, but just because my body has me down doesn't mean I have to let it get me down. If I can just get through this, I can get through anything.
FYI--for those metal haters out there, I want you to know this band wrote this song for a friend who was diagnosed with cancer. From my understanding, their friend won the battle and is now cancer free. It's a good song. You should listen to it. :-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxeMpkw8FPw&NR=1
I admit it-I'm a closet metal-head. One of my favorite radio stations is 101.5 Bob Rocks. I heard a song a few months ago I fell in love with, and feel as if it describes emotionally how I feel about my Lupus.
There are days like today that I really struggle to see a positive--any positive--of having a chronic illness. It's the days when I had a horrible night, constantly waking up in pain. The nights when I wake up at 3 am with a mouth so dry it feels like someone poured sand down my throat while I was sleeping.
Or a morning when my whole body is in so swollen it's hard to move. The mornings when I find a handful of hair on my pillow. The mornings I wake up nauseous, head-pounding, body aching.
It's times like this when I honestly don't know what to do to help me feel better. The times when I feel so hopeless. I try to sleep, but my body hurts too much and wakes me up. I try to distract myself mentally by watching a movie or reading a book, but my head feels like it's going to explode.
It's times like this when I understand why when looking into another person's eyes who has a chronic illness I see no hope. It's times like this when I understand their grumpiness and pessimistic attitude.
But I've always been a fighter. I may have my grumpy moments, but just because my body has me down doesn't mean I have to let it get me down. If I can just get through this, I can get through anything.
FYI--for those metal haters out there, I want you to know this band wrote this song for a friend who was diagnosed with cancer. From my understanding, their friend won the battle and is now cancer free. It's a good song. You should listen to it. :-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GxeMpkw8FPw&NR=1
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Blah day
Considering I'm blogging, you can almost guess with 100% accuracy that today is a bad Lupus day. Actually, the last couple days have been fairly bad. It just gets so frustrating sometimes. I'm such a proactive person, and I feel like there is nothing I can do to make myself better.
Sometimes, I almost wish I had cancer instead of Lupus. At least with cancer you either get better or you die. I know that sounds awful, but it's how I feel at times. And with cancer you actually look like you are sick. People don't expect you to be at your ultimate best all the time. They don't look at your weird when you wait to use the handicapped restroom, because you know you wouldn't be able to stand up on your own without the bars to assist you.
I am not wishing for death, please do not misunderstand me. But I am wishing for a cure. I am wishing that one day, when a 21-year old female gets diagnosed with Lupus, the next sentence her doctor will tell her is "No worries, there is a cure."
I did my laundry today. That is all that I accomplished. I woke up with a headache, with a hand-full of hair on my pillow, and extremely nauseous. My body is achy and swollen, my knees hurt. And as simple as laundry sounds, it was one extremely hard chore for me to accomplish today.
I must say though, I am very proud of my intellectual progress. I now keep microwavable meals on hand, and have upgraded from my bunk bed to an absolutely ahmazingly comfortable bed.
It's in the days like today that I struggle the most with maintaining my sunny personality. It is so incredibly easy to just lie around and complain about the unfairness of my situation.
On my good days, I often ponder how I can turn my mind from the negatives of my situation on a bad day to something more positive. I've tried painting, blogging, reading, etc. But I have yet to find an actual solution. If you have any ideas, by all means please let me know. My goal is to maintain my sunny outlook in both the good times AND the bad times.
I have found that whenever I run across some old person who is still well....happy about their life, it never fails to make me smile. Because those people are unfortunately few and far between. Far too often, one only runs across grumpy old men, or complaining old ladies. Those few old, happy people give me reason to believe that not every person is doomed for an unhappy ending to their life.
Anyways, I'm gonna go take a nap.
Sometimes, I almost wish I had cancer instead of Lupus. At least with cancer you either get better or you die. I know that sounds awful, but it's how I feel at times. And with cancer you actually look like you are sick. People don't expect you to be at your ultimate best all the time. They don't look at your weird when you wait to use the handicapped restroom, because you know you wouldn't be able to stand up on your own without the bars to assist you.
I am not wishing for death, please do not misunderstand me. But I am wishing for a cure. I am wishing that one day, when a 21-year old female gets diagnosed with Lupus, the next sentence her doctor will tell her is "No worries, there is a cure."
I did my laundry today. That is all that I accomplished. I woke up with a headache, with a hand-full of hair on my pillow, and extremely nauseous. My body is achy and swollen, my knees hurt. And as simple as laundry sounds, it was one extremely hard chore for me to accomplish today.
I must say though, I am very proud of my intellectual progress. I now keep microwavable meals on hand, and have upgraded from my bunk bed to an absolutely ahmazingly comfortable bed.
It's in the days like today that I struggle the most with maintaining my sunny personality. It is so incredibly easy to just lie around and complain about the unfairness of my situation.
On my good days, I often ponder how I can turn my mind from the negatives of my situation on a bad day to something more positive. I've tried painting, blogging, reading, etc. But I have yet to find an actual solution. If you have any ideas, by all means please let me know. My goal is to maintain my sunny outlook in both the good times AND the bad times.
I have found that whenever I run across some old person who is still well....happy about their life, it never fails to make me smile. Because those people are unfortunately few and far between. Far too often, one only runs across grumpy old men, or complaining old ladies. Those few old, happy people give me reason to believe that not every person is doomed for an unhappy ending to their life.
Anyways, I'm gonna go take a nap.
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Fight the Great Fight
When I first got diagnosed with Lupus, I had a lot of people come up to me and tell me to "just keep fighting". They told me that I was strong, and that I could handle it. It hasn't been until recently that I have come to the decision of what it means to "fight" a chronic illness such as Lupus.
The first thing that pops into your mind when you say you are going to "fight" something is battling. You think of weaponry and battle. You think of a head-to-head combat, with one winner and the other invariably the loser.
When a person with a chronic illness takes this ideology, they will lose every time. My illness is chronic. It won't just suddenly go away. It may go into remission some day, but it will never completely leave me. It will always be my Constant Companion, and it will always be my obstacle to overcome.
I no longer think that "fighting" Lupus means that I need to continue my busy schedule during my bad days in order to beat it. Because I have found that when I do not pay attention to what my body is telling me, I end up in even worse shape the next day.
I have a good friend whose Mom died of breast cancer. I had the privilege of meeting her once. Strength shown through her eyes, and I see that same strength in her daughter's eyes today. If I were to take the battling perspective, filled with weaponry and heartache, I would have to say she lost the battle with cancer.
But the bottom line is she did not. She left a lasting legacy. She was so strong that her daughter feeds from that strength every day. She never let her cancer keep her from loving her daughter. She won because she never let her spirit and love of life die. It still lives.
I think we all can take a great lesson from her, and from anyone in this world who has a chronic illness and can wake up in the morning with a smile. Fighting Lupus does not involve me always having a good day. It does not involve me forcing myself to pretend to be healthy when I am not feeling that way.
What it does mean, is that I do not let Lupus kill my spirit and love of life. It means that I will wake up in the morning, with a smile on my face regardless of how swollen my body is that day. It means that I will no longer fret over the little things, like inevitable hair loss. It means that I will continue to live happily. It means that I will continue to help others to the best of my ability. It means that I will continue to be my bubbly, happy self.
That it what it means to fight.
The first thing that pops into your mind when you say you are going to "fight" something is battling. You think of weaponry and battle. You think of a head-to-head combat, with one winner and the other invariably the loser.
When a person with a chronic illness takes this ideology, they will lose every time. My illness is chronic. It won't just suddenly go away. It may go into remission some day, but it will never completely leave me. It will always be my Constant Companion, and it will always be my obstacle to overcome.
I no longer think that "fighting" Lupus means that I need to continue my busy schedule during my bad days in order to beat it. Because I have found that when I do not pay attention to what my body is telling me, I end up in even worse shape the next day.
I have a good friend whose Mom died of breast cancer. I had the privilege of meeting her once. Strength shown through her eyes, and I see that same strength in her daughter's eyes today. If I were to take the battling perspective, filled with weaponry and heartache, I would have to say she lost the battle with cancer.
But the bottom line is she did not. She left a lasting legacy. She was so strong that her daughter feeds from that strength every day. She never let her cancer keep her from loving her daughter. She won because she never let her spirit and love of life die. It still lives.
I think we all can take a great lesson from her, and from anyone in this world who has a chronic illness and can wake up in the morning with a smile. Fighting Lupus does not involve me always having a good day. It does not involve me forcing myself to pretend to be healthy when I am not feeling that way.
What it does mean, is that I do not let Lupus kill my spirit and love of life. It means that I will wake up in the morning, with a smile on my face regardless of how swollen my body is that day. It means that I will no longer fret over the little things, like inevitable hair loss. It means that I will continue to live happily. It means that I will continue to help others to the best of my ability. It means that I will continue to be my bubbly, happy self.
That it what it means to fight.
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Saying Good-bye
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about life, love, and happiness. Our life is filled with good-byes. Some are permanent, and some are only temporary. Saying good-bye is always hard. Saying good-bye is extremely difficult when it is to someone or something that you have relied on, been comforted from, and enjoyed company with. But sometimes it's necessary.
In order to survive, it is necessary. Sometimes to determine how much you rely on them or how much you find comfort from them, it is necessary to walk away for awhile. Sometimes it makes you stronger. Sometimes it makes you realize that you simply cannot be happy without that person/thing in your life. That they are the one who makes you smile in the morning.
When I first was told I was allergic to cheese I threw a fit. I was sooo mad at the world, and especially at the doctor who diagnosed me with the allergy. I literally stomped my way out of the doctor's office telling anyone who would listen to me the doctor was a quack and didn't know what he was talking about.
But saying good-bye to cheese has turned out to be one of the best things that could have happened to me. Cheese made me a weaker person. It made me live a life of misery. Sure, it was fun to eat. But the consequences of eating it simply were not worth it. The consequences out-weighed the benefits.
Saying good-bye to cheese made me stronger. It made me realize I can survive temptation. I can live without the "niceties" of life. That I don't need to have fancy things in my life or in my diet in order to live happily.
Another time I said good-bye was when I first went off to college. Saying good-bye to my parents, to the people who had been my foundational support for all of my life, was extremely difficult. Watching them drive away, leaving me surrounded by people I did not know, was hard. I cried for a good 30 minutes after they left. Then I realized that while I no longer had my parent's at my side, they were only one phone call away. Saying good-bye to them made me realize that they are my foundation. They are my parents. They aren't going to suddenly disappear into thin air, but they will always be there for me. No matter where I am physically, they are only one phone call away.
I learned that they love me unconditionally. That they love me for who I am, through every lazy day, through every fight, and through every trial. They let me make my own mistakes because they know that is how I learn best. They let me run the race, and then greet me with a hug at the finish line. They cheer me on. And it took me saying good-bye to realize how much they mean to me.
When I got so sick, I had to say good-bye to running. I didn't realize how balanced I feel when I am able to run until I said adios. When I run, I am myself. I don't feel like I have to please others with my thoughts and actions, but I let my mind wander to wherever it pleases. I work through my problems and through my thoughts. I think of solutions to seemingly impossible obstacles while I run.
I know that running is good for me physically, but it's also good for me emotionally. It makes me balanced. It makes me stronger. It makes me face reality, and helps me focus on my problems to find the best solution possible.
I've been doing a lot of running lately, mainly because I've been doing a lot of thinking. I've been thinking about how our world is filled with good-byes; whether it be to speeding, junk food, to your child/parent when you go off to college, or to....
In order to survive, it is necessary. Sometimes to determine how much you rely on them or how much you find comfort from them, it is necessary to walk away for awhile. Sometimes it makes you stronger. Sometimes it makes you realize that you simply cannot be happy without that person/thing in your life. That they are the one who makes you smile in the morning.
When I first was told I was allergic to cheese I threw a fit. I was sooo mad at the world, and especially at the doctor who diagnosed me with the allergy. I literally stomped my way out of the doctor's office telling anyone who would listen to me the doctor was a quack and didn't know what he was talking about.
But saying good-bye to cheese has turned out to be one of the best things that could have happened to me. Cheese made me a weaker person. It made me live a life of misery. Sure, it was fun to eat. But the consequences of eating it simply were not worth it. The consequences out-weighed the benefits.
Saying good-bye to cheese made me stronger. It made me realize I can survive temptation. I can live without the "niceties" of life. That I don't need to have fancy things in my life or in my diet in order to live happily.
Another time I said good-bye was when I first went off to college. Saying good-bye to my parents, to the people who had been my foundational support for all of my life, was extremely difficult. Watching them drive away, leaving me surrounded by people I did not know, was hard. I cried for a good 30 minutes after they left. Then I realized that while I no longer had my parent's at my side, they were only one phone call away. Saying good-bye to them made me realize that they are my foundation. They are my parents. They aren't going to suddenly disappear into thin air, but they will always be there for me. No matter where I am physically, they are only one phone call away.
I learned that they love me unconditionally. That they love me for who I am, through every lazy day, through every fight, and through every trial. They let me make my own mistakes because they know that is how I learn best. They let me run the race, and then greet me with a hug at the finish line. They cheer me on. And it took me saying good-bye to realize how much they mean to me.
When I got so sick, I had to say good-bye to running. I didn't realize how balanced I feel when I am able to run until I said adios. When I run, I am myself. I don't feel like I have to please others with my thoughts and actions, but I let my mind wander to wherever it pleases. I work through my problems and through my thoughts. I think of solutions to seemingly impossible obstacles while I run.
I know that running is good for me physically, but it's also good for me emotionally. It makes me balanced. It makes me stronger. It makes me face reality, and helps me focus on my problems to find the best solution possible.
I've been doing a lot of running lately, mainly because I've been doing a lot of thinking. I've been thinking about how our world is filled with good-byes; whether it be to speeding, junk food, to your child/parent when you go off to college, or to....
Friday, August 13, 2010
The Four Year Old who Ran Forty Miles
I was browsing the internet this morning and came across this article. It broke my heart. :(
Budhia Singh
The Four Year Old who Ran Forty Miles
Budhia Singh
The 4 Year Old who runs half marathons
Budhia Singh lives in Orissa, India where a third of the population live in slums and the state has the highest child mortality rate in India.
Since the age of three Budhia has been running 20 miles a day and is currently preparing to run a half marathon, his fifth in seven weeks.
Is Budhia's story an account of exceptional child talent or a darker tale of child exploitation.
His coach Biranchi Das, a local judo instructor, aims to train Budhia to become India's greatest marathon runner who will go on to win Olympic glory. His training regime begins at 4 o'clock in the morning in a typical blazing, misty dawn in Orissa.
His mother who worked as a maid for £3 a month has four children, of whom Budhia is the youngest. She was unable to feed and clothe them so took the heartbreaking decision to sell Budhia to a travelling peddler for £10. The peddler was a drunk who would beat the boy regularly. When Biranchi found him he was naked, wounded, and seriously underfed.
Biranchi Das
Budhia's talent for running was only discovered when Biranchi heard the young boy swearing at another of the Judo students. He ordered Budhia to run around the running track until he returned. Biranchi went out and forgot about the boy until his return six hours later. Incredibly, Budhia was still running!
Biranchi has no experience with athletics or long-distance running, but he has devised his own training programme which includes his belief that Budhia should not drink while running. He allows him energy drinks before and after a race, but never during one.
Budhia's coach wants him to take part in the Delhi half-marathon. No-one knows how he will cope with his first competitive race, but for Biranchi, it's an important step in his plan to turn Budhia into an elite, Olympic athlete.
On the day of the race, there is a problem. Budhia's fame has arrived before him, and with it controversy. He has been told that, due to International Rules, he can't run in the main race. He is so much the centre of attention that the race organisers agree to allow him to compete in the final event, a 6km race for all ages. At the after-race party, in the evening, he meets former Olympic champion Daley Thompson.
Tim Hutchins, the coordinator of the London Marathon, is outspoken: "Children shouldn't be training hard, for any sport, until they are fifteen or sixteen years old. For a child of three to be training hard is verging on the criminal".
Back in Orissa, the child welfare minister is taking a keen interest in the case. She thinks Biranchi is using Budhia's running talent and the media coverage to promote his own interests and believes the child's health will suffer. Biranchi disagrees and argues that he is trying to improve Budhia's life. He is being properly fed, he is clothed, and he is receiving regular schooling.
Biranchi's plans are becoming ever more ambitious. He will have Budhia run from Puri to Bhubaneswar, then he'll run the marathon in Nayagarh, and from there they'll go to Milan. But, before this he will set Budhia an even greater challenge, one that will put him into the record books. He will run 70km, 42 miles, non-stop. With no water, this is a run that could put Budhia's life at risk.
If he succeeds, he will become the youngest endurance runner in the world, and there will be official observers ready to record his achievements.
On the day of the race, temperatures are expected to reach 90°F. Not even the elite Kenyan athletes run these distances in such temperatures.
Budhia has a police escort and medical backup. Six hours into the run and Budhia has covered 58km. Biranchi uses a water-bottle, like a carrot on a stick, to entice him to keep running. After 67km, Budhia stops. Exhausted and disoriented, the army doctor who has been overseeing the race, steps in. After a protracted delay, Budhia is taken to the central police stadium to recover. The army doctor is convinced Budhia is ill, suffering from convulsions and possible brain damage.
One of Many Lonely Sojourns
Despite stopping 3km short of the target, he has still set a new record and will go into the Limca Book of Records as the youngest ever endurance runner.
Biranchi insists that Budhia runs of his own free will, he likes to run, and is not coerced in any way. The authorities are not convinced. Three days later, on the basis of the Limca run, a police warrant is issued for child exploitation. Biranchi is arrested. He is ordered to bring Budhia to Capital Hospital where the child committee want him examined by sports scientists.
The medical team include a cardiologist, a paediatrician, a psychologist, and a psychiatrist. They found his pulse-rate high, his blood-pressure high, he was under-nourished, anaemic, and suffering a vitamin deficiency.
The child welfare minister has now banned Budhia from running any more marathons in the state.
source: http://www.mymultiplesclerosis.co.uk/misc/budhiasingh.html
But I haven't blogged in a while. I find on my good days, I just don't want to waste time sitting at a computer. So instead I go outside and enjoy life. Therefore, if I don't blog...that's usually a good sign.
Anyways...I'm off to go live life today. AKA go to work a 9 hour shift. Have a fabulous day my friends!
Until next time....
Budhia Singh
The Four Year Old who Ran Forty Miles
Budhia Singh
The 4 Year Old who runs half marathons
Budhia Singh lives in Orissa, India where a third of the population live in slums and the state has the highest child mortality rate in India.
Since the age of three Budhia has been running 20 miles a day and is currently preparing to run a half marathon, his fifth in seven weeks.
Is Budhia's story an account of exceptional child talent or a darker tale of child exploitation.
His coach Biranchi Das, a local judo instructor, aims to train Budhia to become India's greatest marathon runner who will go on to win Olympic glory. His training regime begins at 4 o'clock in the morning in a typical blazing, misty dawn in Orissa.
His mother who worked as a maid for £3 a month has four children, of whom Budhia is the youngest. She was unable to feed and clothe them so took the heartbreaking decision to sell Budhia to a travelling peddler for £10. The peddler was a drunk who would beat the boy regularly. When Biranchi found him he was naked, wounded, and seriously underfed.
Biranchi Das
Budhia's talent for running was only discovered when Biranchi heard the young boy swearing at another of the Judo students. He ordered Budhia to run around the running track until he returned. Biranchi went out and forgot about the boy until his return six hours later. Incredibly, Budhia was still running!
Biranchi has no experience with athletics or long-distance running, but he has devised his own training programme which includes his belief that Budhia should not drink while running. He allows him energy drinks before and after a race, but never during one.
Budhia's coach wants him to take part in the Delhi half-marathon. No-one knows how he will cope with his first competitive race, but for Biranchi, it's an important step in his plan to turn Budhia into an elite, Olympic athlete.
On the day of the race, there is a problem. Budhia's fame has arrived before him, and with it controversy. He has been told that, due to International Rules, he can't run in the main race. He is so much the centre of attention that the race organisers agree to allow him to compete in the final event, a 6km race for all ages. At the after-race party, in the evening, he meets former Olympic champion Daley Thompson.
Tim Hutchins, the coordinator of the London Marathon, is outspoken: "Children shouldn't be training hard, for any sport, until they are fifteen or sixteen years old. For a child of three to be training hard is verging on the criminal".
Back in Orissa, the child welfare minister is taking a keen interest in the case. She thinks Biranchi is using Budhia's running talent and the media coverage to promote his own interests and believes the child's health will suffer. Biranchi disagrees and argues that he is trying to improve Budhia's life. He is being properly fed, he is clothed, and he is receiving regular schooling.
Biranchi's plans are becoming ever more ambitious. He will have Budhia run from Puri to Bhubaneswar, then he'll run the marathon in Nayagarh, and from there they'll go to Milan. But, before this he will set Budhia an even greater challenge, one that will put him into the record books. He will run 70km, 42 miles, non-stop. With no water, this is a run that could put Budhia's life at risk.
If he succeeds, he will become the youngest endurance runner in the world, and there will be official observers ready to record his achievements.
On the day of the race, temperatures are expected to reach 90°F. Not even the elite Kenyan athletes run these distances in such temperatures.
Budhia has a police escort and medical backup. Six hours into the run and Budhia has covered 58km. Biranchi uses a water-bottle, like a carrot on a stick, to entice him to keep running. After 67km, Budhia stops. Exhausted and disoriented, the army doctor who has been overseeing the race, steps in. After a protracted delay, Budhia is taken to the central police stadium to recover. The army doctor is convinced Budhia is ill, suffering from convulsions and possible brain damage.
One of Many Lonely Sojourns
Despite stopping 3km short of the target, he has still set a new record and will go into the Limca Book of Records as the youngest ever endurance runner.
Biranchi insists that Budhia runs of his own free will, he likes to run, and is not coerced in any way. The authorities are not convinced. Three days later, on the basis of the Limca run, a police warrant is issued for child exploitation. Biranchi is arrested. He is ordered to bring Budhia to Capital Hospital where the child committee want him examined by sports scientists.
The medical team include a cardiologist, a paediatrician, a psychologist, and a psychiatrist. They found his pulse-rate high, his blood-pressure high, he was under-nourished, anaemic, and suffering a vitamin deficiency.
The child welfare minister has now banned Budhia from running any more marathons in the state.
source: http://www.mymultiplesclerosis.co.uk/misc/budhiasingh.html
But I haven't blogged in a while. I find on my good days, I just don't want to waste time sitting at a computer. So instead I go outside and enjoy life. Therefore, if I don't blog...that's usually a good sign.
Anyways...I'm off to go live life today. AKA go to work a 9 hour shift. Have a fabulous day my friends!
Until next time....
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
Today = Icky Day
I can always tell when the day is going to be a bad/good Lupus day within seconds of when I wake up. I'm a big stretcher. That is the first thing I do every morning. I spread my arms and stretch out as far as I physically can expand my body. On my bad days, my whole lower half of my body does not stretch. It's because it's so swollen that it just doesn't move.
Anyways...I woke up this morning, and I went to stretch. And.....nada. Not a thing moved.
I find on these days, that it's best to just not think. Because when you start thinking, the negative thoughts start to creep in. On these days, you just fight. You dig down deep, you find that inner strength buried deep within you, and you just fight.
Fighting is easier when you don't ponder the "what if's", or the "why me" questions. It's best if you just take things one at a time.
First on my agenda? Food. Next? Painting. I enjoy it. And what better thing to accomplish on a day when I have no energy, and no mobility? I've got a few unfinished projects calling my name.
Until later,
Your Ancient-Bodied-slightly-hungry Friend. :P
Anyways...I woke up this morning, and I went to stretch. And.....nada. Not a thing moved.
I find on these days, that it's best to just not think. Because when you start thinking, the negative thoughts start to creep in. On these days, you just fight. You dig down deep, you find that inner strength buried deep within you, and you just fight.
Fighting is easier when you don't ponder the "what if's", or the "why me" questions. It's best if you just take things one at a time.
First on my agenda? Food. Next? Painting. I enjoy it. And what better thing to accomplish on a day when I have no energy, and no mobility? I've got a few unfinished projects calling my name.
Until later,
Your Ancient-Bodied-slightly-hungry Friend. :P
Monday, August 2, 2010
Life Goes On
My Mom taught me at an early age to use a calender to plan out my life. She taught me predictability. I am extremely spontaneous, but I make sure my spontaneity fits in with my calender. I like that predictability. I like knowing what my plans are for tomorrow, or even for three months from now. I like knowing what to expect from the next day. I like knowing where I have to be, and when I have to be there.
But my body has deceived me. My immune system has turned on it's host. It has taken away that predictability that I hold so dearly, and thrown it out the window. I no longer know what to expect tomorrow. I no longer have that knowledge that I will wake up in the morning with the same energy level I had the day before. I no longer have that feeling of security in my body. I hate that with a passion that mere words cannot describe. I hate knowing that my body is fighting against itself. My body has become my worst enemy.
You never know quite how lucky you are, until you lose something that you hold so dearly. The hair you have on your head, don't take for granted. One day you may end up like me, losing a handful every morning on your pillow and even more in the shower or on your brush.
The energy you have to make it through the whole day? Don't take that for granted. Don't waste it sitting on the couch. Go out and live life to the fullest. Play with your children while you still have the energy and wellness to do so. Spend time with your significant other.
The legs you take for granted? You know...the ones that help get you up out of bed every morning? Use them for me today, please. Go out for a run with the knowledge that it won't land you in bed for the rest of the week. Go out and enjoy the sunshine. Go for a walk, go swimming, just go DO something. Do it for me.
Throughout these past few months, I have learned a lot about both myself and my friends. I now know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I have one outstanding support system. I have had friends: drop off food to my front door, drive with me to doctor's appointments, held me while I cried, drive 4 hours to come spend time with me and help me through this, held my hand and walk beside me, help pay for rent for the month I was too sick to work, written me encouragement cards, met me for coffee to just listen to me vent, and sooo much more. I've also learned that life does go on.
Life sucks sometimes. I'll be the first one to say it. But it still goes on. Sometimes you just have to hang on for the ride. There's been some days when the pain (both emotional and physical) become too much that all I can do is curl up in a ball and scream out to God asking "Why?". That's the only word I can form in my tormented mind is "why".
Why is this happening to me? Why are you allowing this to happen? Why aren't you saving me from this pain? Why?! Why do bad things happen? Why aren't you doing something to stop this? Why? Why am I going through so much pain? Why aren't you showing your plan for me? WHY?!
Sometimes the pain gets to be so much that I don't think I can go on any more. It just becomes so unbearable. But then I remember you. I remember your face, and feed off your inner strength. I remember how you're praying for me. How you are fighting for me. You give me hope on the bad days, and you deserve to be thanked. You remind me to just hang on, because a good day is going to come soon. And we can go hang out doing our "thing". Thank you for being there for me.
I know you don't realize it, but you reminded me today that life does go on. Thank you.
But my body has deceived me. My immune system has turned on it's host. It has taken away that predictability that I hold so dearly, and thrown it out the window. I no longer know what to expect tomorrow. I no longer have that knowledge that I will wake up in the morning with the same energy level I had the day before. I no longer have that feeling of security in my body. I hate that with a passion that mere words cannot describe. I hate knowing that my body is fighting against itself. My body has become my worst enemy.
You never know quite how lucky you are, until you lose something that you hold so dearly. The hair you have on your head, don't take for granted. One day you may end up like me, losing a handful every morning on your pillow and even more in the shower or on your brush.
The energy you have to make it through the whole day? Don't take that for granted. Don't waste it sitting on the couch. Go out and live life to the fullest. Play with your children while you still have the energy and wellness to do so. Spend time with your significant other.
The legs you take for granted? You know...the ones that help get you up out of bed every morning? Use them for me today, please. Go out for a run with the knowledge that it won't land you in bed for the rest of the week. Go out and enjoy the sunshine. Go for a walk, go swimming, just go DO something. Do it for me.
Throughout these past few months, I have learned a lot about both myself and my friends. I now know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I have one outstanding support system. I have had friends: drop off food to my front door, drive with me to doctor's appointments, held me while I cried, drive 4 hours to come spend time with me and help me through this, held my hand and walk beside me, help pay for rent for the month I was too sick to work, written me encouragement cards, met me for coffee to just listen to me vent, and sooo much more. I've also learned that life does go on.
Life sucks sometimes. I'll be the first one to say it. But it still goes on. Sometimes you just have to hang on for the ride. There's been some days when the pain (both emotional and physical) become too much that all I can do is curl up in a ball and scream out to God asking "Why?". That's the only word I can form in my tormented mind is "why".
Why is this happening to me? Why are you allowing this to happen? Why aren't you saving me from this pain? Why?! Why do bad things happen? Why aren't you doing something to stop this? Why? Why am I going through so much pain? Why aren't you showing your plan for me? WHY?!
Sometimes the pain gets to be so much that I don't think I can go on any more. It just becomes so unbearable. But then I remember you. I remember your face, and feed off your inner strength. I remember how you're praying for me. How you are fighting for me. You give me hope on the bad days, and you deserve to be thanked. You remind me to just hang on, because a good day is going to come soon. And we can go hang out doing our "thing". Thank you for being there for me.
I know you don't realize it, but you reminded me today that life does go on. Thank you.
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